Chinese Torture Test

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he’s hopelessly
lost. It’s been nearly three weeks since he’s eaten
anything besides what he could forage and he’s been
reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.

One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods.
It has vines covering most of it and the man can’t see
any other buildings in the area. However, he sees
smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is
home.

He knocks on the door and an old man with a beard almost
down to the ground answers. The old man squints his
eyes and says, "What do you want?"

The man says, "I’ve been lost for the past three weeks
and haven’t had a decent meal or sleep since that time.
It would be most gracious of you if I could have a meal
and sleep in your house for tonight"

The old Chinese man says, "I’ll let you come in on one
condition, you cannot mess around with my granddaughter"

The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying,
"I promise I won’t cause you any trouble. I’ll be on
my way tomorrow morning."

The old Chinese man counters "Ok, but if I do catch
you then I’ll give you the three worst Chinese torture
tests ever known to man."

"Ok, Ok" the man said as he entered the old house. Besides,
he thought to himself, what kind of woman would live
out in the wilderness all her life?

Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after
showering), he saw how beautiful the granddaughter was.
She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been
lost three weeks, it had been many, many months without
companionship. And the girl had only seen the occasional
monk besides her grandfather and well, they both couldn’t
keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal.

That night, the man snuck into the girls’ bedroom and
they had quite a time, but had kept the noise down to
a minimum. The man crept back to his room later that
night thinking to himself, "Any three torture tests
would be worth it after that experience."

Well, the next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight
on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this
huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign saying
"1st Chinese torture test: 100-lb rock on your chest".

"What a lame torture test" the man thought to himself
as he got up and walked over to the window. He opened
the shutter and threw the rock out.

On the backside of the rock is another sign saying,
"2nd worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied to right
testicle".

The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window
to be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock.

Outside the window is a third sign saying, "3rd worst
Chinese torture test: Left testicle tied to bedpost".

LOL

Not You again

LOL
BEFORE I even Read this one
YOU are CRAZY

Standard Set of Two Faux Shutters for Trompe l'Oeil Window set of two White